There’s a rat in the kitchen…..

18 Oct

Well actually it was a field mouse and it was last Christmas.But it was fekin huge!

So this year I decided that I should start blocking up holes and anticipate another invasion.

There I was, last Christmas admiring my decorations , when my chocolate santa started to dance! Then I noticed a tail and a gallus field mouse chomping santa’s feet. My husband caught it after I gave him a lecture about not killing the wee cute thing, and he walked about a mile and let it go in the woods. Soul that he is.

So I looked on the internet for humane traps and found “Big Cheese” and decided to buy five traps. I had visited the farm suppliers Smellies and was laughed out the shop, and they advised me to get poison. Oh the horror! And me a veggie too.

My idea was after a night of  raids the meeces would be comfy in the trap, chomping on a large quantity of peanut butter, and I would drop them off in the morning on my way to work, in some lovely field next to the woods.

The bastards broke in and ate the peanut butter and left a trail of shite. This went on for a week. Every night,scurry and clacking of the trap. In the morning mayhem in the kitchen. They even danced in my frying pan. I flipped.So I stood in the kitchen and gave them an ultimatum. Get in the traps and go on a trip after eating organic, FEKIN ORGANIC peanut butter or DIE.

Next night same deal, trail of shite and the peanut butter scoffed.That morning I was at the opening of B and Q and bought a lorry load of poison.Did I feel guilty. Yep. If they didn’t bring disease and I didn’t see them we could live in harmony. And I had that chat with them, but they chose to defy me.

So I put out the blue died grains and the meeces scoffed it. I didn’t find any dead mice and they were gone before we hosted christmas dinner.We just didn’t need the extra drama.

But I just couldn’t think about the fact that I have murdered meeces, that were probably only feeding their wee family, so I set out to block them out. My pal Liz is the queen of clean and knows all about mice as she didn’t sleep for 4 days when a few decided to move in to her kitchen. The wee man from the council gave her a tip. Before blocking up the holes with expanding foam, stuff it with some brillo pad.So that’s just what I did today.

Expanding foam £7.49

Brillo pads -£1.99

Me getting expanding foam in my hair… priceless.

So all the bits are sealed up. The larger wholes I packed with plastic bags first. But I have to say expanding foam is fab! I am so impressed. It’s wasted just filling up holes and cavities. It would be great if it came in bright colours and you could make lots of tactile pictures! Anyway, I am off on a tangent again. The main thing is this year I am not going to be a mouse killer, and better than that, we are not hosting Christmas dinner! Wooopeee!

But before I sign off, I leave you with one thought. If you had an infestation of animals which would you choose? Me? Infestation of Kune Kune pigs any day.


One Response to “There’s a rat in the kitchen…..”

  1. Queen Marie October 19, 2011 at 2:12 pm #

    “The bastards broke in and ate the peanut butter and left a trail of shite.”

    I just laughed so hard, I have spluttered tea all over my computer. Genius.

    I’m liking the sound of the expanding foam. So much more humane as befits a good veggie ( cough cough)like yourself!!

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