Tag Archives: summer

From factor duffle coat…..

21 Jul

to ACTUAL duffel coat. Luckily I have 4 to choose from, all from the past 3 decades.

Here in Scotland,it’s nearly the end of July  it’s wet and IT’S BLOODY FREEZING!

The Beardy Man popped out to buy some snakaroonies to munch while watching the sports channel and while he was out I put the tumble dryer on. I like to live dangerously.

I didn’t want to chance firing up the heating system as it would not cool down by the time he had returned.

I popped down to Ayr today to visit my friends who are over from Belize. From one exotic place to another.

On my way there I noticed that people on the streets were wearing their winter jackets. All dark with fake fur hoods and dark faces to match. Everyone looked so bloody miserable.They should be happy! They live by the seaside!

My friends now have arthritis because it’s so cold! They had the heating on and were wearing jumpers and hats. I must admit even I was melting and I had a wee fat burny face within half an hour.

The Beardy Man couldn’t come as he has a big exam looming. Anyway I was glad he wasn’t there as he would have pretended to go to the loo and we would have found him in the electricity cupboard watching the wheel going round and round.

Sadly wearing your winter coat sometimes does not protect you from the driving Scottish rain. And umbrellas have a short life, no matter how expensive, or even if they have been designed by SPLUCH.

Not only that, they are a danger to the public.I have nearly had my eye out at bus stops, and put my back out ducking the brollys walking down Buchanan street.

But I think I may have found the solution. No more brollys! Primark are selling rain coats with hoods for 5 quid!Or you can buy a “mac in a bag”. I have a red one that I bought years ago. It lives at the bottom of my bag. Do I look stupid? You bet. But I don’t look stupid when I turn up at my destination with hair and make-up in tact……ok,maybe just a wee bit.

I tried to go online and get a picture for you to have a wee look at but their site is not working! The best way I can describe them is knee-length with a hood, flowers on a dark background or red with white spots. The blokes department have cagouls of different shapes and sizes all for under a tenner.Or you can go on-line and check out these bad boys. Over a tenner but some are nice and bright, and you won’t get hit by a car in the pissing rain!

You can go to the ever wonderful Poundland and buy a see thru hooded cape. Ideal for festivals and when on your bike. Yep they look stupid but it’s better than getting wet or wearing the dreaded RAINMATE!

You can never look sexy in a rainmate ( but you can in a poncho..I have 4 ) I don’t even think Mr Grey would subject Ms Steele to wearing one during BDSM.I remember when I was young my aunt’s friend used to wear one. But she also sported a nicotine stained moustache.

So I have come to the conclusion that the cheapest way to keep dry in the summer is to wear a hat and go naked. The skin is waterproof after all and we all have it so lets get it out for summer!

The only request I would have is that ugly people stay in doors.

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