Love hearts and all that crap

17 Feb

I hate Valentines.

I did get a card from Donny Osmond when I was wee. He even hand delivered it as there was no stamp. He was on my door step!

And does anyone remember these that were usually written on the envelope?

I.T.A.L.Y.

S.W.A.L.K

H.O.L.L.A.N.D

U.R.U.G.L.Y

Ok the last one I made up.

But lets face it, it’s just another load of commercial bollocks. Or on the other hand  do we need a little escapism from this current climate?

Anyway I could go on about it but it’s just I hate the hype and all the crap you are pressured in to buying . Like ugly cuddly toys

and huge padded valentines cards

and sexy edible undies,beef jerky flavour.

So there I was in M and S. I have been on the hunt for their reduced in price chocolate and hoped I would find their “ginger discs”. Nae joy. And the usual 10 quid meal for 2  was still on. BUT it was now 20 quid as they added on a side and a box of chocs. After fighting my way through the false teeth and twin set brigade I was left bitterly disappointed. The chocolates they were throwing in were, quite frankly,in a word,shite. I could use big fancy florid descriptive words, it’s M and S after all, but shite sums it up.

So I just decided to buy enchiladas and bought veggie Percy pigs. Why veggie when I am scoffing chicken by the ton? Well, the pig sweets are made with PORK gelatin! How sick is that! There you are a cute wee pig spending your last days in your wee field knowing that your life will end soon to be turned into piggie sweets for spoiled weans! Pig suicides are on the rise.

You are probably wondering where the money-saving tips are. Well when it comes to food for a special occasion it’s better to buy what you want rather than what is cheap. Tesco and Morrisons are also offering the  10 quid meal deal, so you are better to shop around. Also I was given insider info on Waitrose. Wednesday nights the price of food is reduced as it is at sell by date. There is a delivery on a Thursday and they need to make space.So next Wednesday night I will be wearing my pearls and twin set and talking all posh pushing my golden trolley around Waitrose, and I will take no prisoners!

Hopefully they will be selling their Valentines cards cheap. And I will be posting this one  to Donny next year

Just don’t tell the Beardy Man or my breakfast in bed will come to an abrupt end.

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