I’m bored….

5 Feb

….so I’m eating my body weight and the Beardy Man’s in post-Christmas crap.

We got lots of tins of sweets and biscuits, and to stop us eating them we put them on top of our kitchen cupboards. Yep like that’s gonna stop us.If I can’t reach the bad stuff I’ll just buy a spider monkey to fetch it down for me.

So it’s almost gone, and we have cultivated lovely little wobbly bellies to show that we have appreciated our edible presents. Although the beardy man thinks I am boiling all his clothes and that is why they are tight. Bless. I’m such a good liar. There is nothing worse than a weeping man with moobs perched on the edge of the mattress.

But I just can’t help myself. I am greedy and slowly beginning to resemble a cross between Mandy Dingle

and Jabba the hut.

Aldi were selling off their Panettone for 2 quid! I couldn’t resist it. It has taken  a week and a half for me to scoff it. I cut it into big stars. I folded a slice in half and took it to work. Dear god it was fab. And cutting it in half means there are fewer calories. It does. No seriously. Something to do with breaking down molecules.

Oh but I didn’t stop there. Poundland are selling “Old Jamaica Rum” Chocolate.

It’s packging has changed and looks uninteresting. I would have bought more if it had the original wrapper!I have not seen it for years so I bought a bar then a pack of Thornton’s Continental, a peppermint aero ,then a milka bar, oh and jelly babies. I was disappointed that I did not spy any frys chocolate cream, and have been on a search for the past couple of days…and found it sitting snuggly under the counter of the old-fashioned sweetie shop “The sweet spot” at Hamilton’s Top Cross.They also sell macaroon bars of which I bought a few, and tablet (I can just feel my teeth rotting at the thought of the sugary deliciousness!)

The shop has been there for years. It has changed name and hands a few times, but it remains a popular shop and a permanent fixture in Hamilton. If you go in for one item, be warned you will buy loads of goodies that you don’t need. It’s retro sweetie heaven.

Then I decided to go and have a wee look in the body shop. I don’t normally bother, but I was exhausted after my sweetie trek and felt I deserved a wee treat. And lo, there for £9 was a delicious bargain to behold!

Yep chocolate for my skin! I asked the woman if I could have a spoon to taste the body scrub. That’s how delicious it smelled! So I bought them. They have been created for that nonsense Valentines Day.

I now smell so good and chocolately that I am in love with myself and I am off to buy myself a valentines card. I shall write it out with my left hand and post it when I am drunk. That way it will be a surprise.

I couldn’t agree more.

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One Response to “I’m bored….”

  1. Melissa February 6, 2012 at 12:01 pm #

    I was actually reading this going . . . OMG I’ll have to tell Ms. Divah that you can buy Fry’s at the Wee Sweetie shop!!!! But you being a clever bunny already knew that.

    It’s the best place in Hamilton. Not a fan of tablet but I go there for Parma Violet and Turkish Delight – The proper stuff mind you, rose and lemon flavored squares of wonder that taste like heaven and leave you looking like you have a serious cocaine problem.

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