I saw him. I did! He was behind the counter in Watt Brothers.
You can always find a wee bargain at Watt Bros. The mammy worships regularly at the shop of wonder and much cheapest.Her photo is above the door.
So for those who don’t know, Watt Bros is the West Coast of Scotland’s best kept secret.
There are stores in Hamilton,Lanark,Clarkston and Glasgow.
You can buy anything from make-up to Egyptian cotton sheets to a big slipper
and big talking Elvis head
So there I was clutching a travel iron (£8) and a set of 6 table mats (£4) and looking at the Benefit and stilo make-up (£3-£6) when I saw Elvis behind the counter staring and winking at me.I was mesmerised.
It was £20.Yep £20! Bargain. Then Big Doc popped into my head. He would love it. He phones Elvis on his mobile when I am pissing him off. Having Elvis there to chat to would be the perfect birthday present.But I was travelling by public transport, and had just bought a whole load of clothes from Guccimark, so carrying Elvis was gonna be a problem.
I usually got the 4.55pm bus from Buchanan St bus station. And it was usually the same driver.I called him Busface.
He never smiled. He would charge me full fare for Elvis, I was sure of it. If I hid Elvis in a bag he may suffocate or start singing, either way the bus journey would bring on a panic attack.I decided to leave Elvis and go back and get him the following week. Bad idea.
So I phoned all the shops. Elvis had left all the Watt buildings. I was sad. I decided not to tell Big Doc about the nearly Elvis present.He would have sacked me and found a new pal.
But I did go back and buy myself a lovely wax coat. You know the one, the one with the cape thing attached. It was purple. It was handy for when I was out and about for work in the pouring rain in the east end of Glasgow.
So then I realised that I was seeing women all over the city wearing the same coat. Different colours,same style and tartan lining.But one thing I noticed, all of the women were over the age of 60. And even the mammy commented on how minging it was. The coat is now part of my pig cuddling uniform, and they love to chew the zip and buttons.
However if you live in Scotland go shop at Watt. If you are from out of Scotland and might visit one day, please visit Watt as part of your bus tour around Glasgow, after all it is an institution and in between museums. Plus you can buy a whole load of Scottish crap and not get ripped off!
Happy shopping. And if you see Elvis, can you drop me an email? Ta.