This is me……

4 Dec

…and don’t I look fetching?

I have the dreaded lurgy,cooties, snotters. I have that bug that is going about and the drugs aint cheap man!

So just as well I have been stocking up on ibuprofen,paracetamol,lemsips, hankies, honey and lemon cough bottle and smelly stuff to rub on my chest and all out of the pound shop. If I go to my local Lloyds pharmacy it would be mask and musket time.

I need to get rid of the Ebola before I start my new job. It’s a christmas gig. I have to take santa to the toilet. But the good thing is I am now earning money which means the Beardy Man is putting the heating on. It has been so cold in the house that  the christmas tree has de-bobbled itself and thrown itself on the wood burning pile.

I have also been tankin the whiskey and honey. A wee hot toddie does wonders, and I sleep like a baby. One of the main problems is the sneezing. It’s a dangerous involuntary action, and I have put my back out. Fab. They don’t sell Zimmers in the pound shop, but they do sell muscle rub gel and the heat patches. But of course I bought the wrong patches. I bought the heated PLASTERS. I stuck one to my lumbago. Time for bed and I had to take it off. Or rather the Beardy Man did after chasing me around the house explaining that he would rip it off quickly. I gave in. He ripped it off doing the “1,2,3” thing. But ripped it off at 2. Bastard.

So all the fur came off too. It was so sore I put my back out again. So be warned and look for the pack of two that you stick to your knickers, not your hairy back.

Off to bed for me. Only 2 more sleeps ’til Santa and a box of rubber gloves!


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